minimal redneck

Shirt: Target

Shrug: Ann Taylor LOFT

Jeans: Gap

Shoes: Cole Haan

What the heck Blogger? 
I get myself all pumped up to post, I start figuring out what I'm going to talk about, who I'm going to make fun of and then BAM "Temporary Error" ... what kind of crap is that!??! 


You will forever have to wonder what funny things happened to me that day and what stupid things my "family" aka Rem-Rod and John put me through. You have Blogger to thank for your loss my friends. Dang technology.


ANYWAY - due to the epic "temporary error" the outfit pictured above is old. I'm not sure how I feel about the final result of this getup. There was a tear in the right sleeve of this shirt, so last minute I decided to hone my sewing skills and use my newly bought scissors to to cut both sleeves off this shirt. In an attempt to not look like a complete redneck in a cutoff sleeveless shirt I paired it with this crochet shrug to soften the "redneck-ness" ... what do you think? 


Today was a fantastically lazy Saturday. 


Dog park - check
Pool (complete with lightening and thunder) - check
Movie (with popcorn of course) - check
Olive Garden (Nothin' bus classy) - check
Lock Up Marathon - currently taking place


PS: Yes, I got hightlights. 

choking on toothpaste

Shirt (originally a dress): Banana Republic

Pants: Gap

Shoes: Target

Today's outfit is a perfect example of complete laziness.

surprise. surprise.

I woke up hot. Why you might ask? 

Because our AC decided to freeze over making the temperature of my midget mansion a balmy 86 degrees this morning. Pair unexpected morning sweat with my he-man sweat ball of a boyfriend and a cold shower and the result is pictured above. a (literal) HOT mess. I don't think I have ever been more excited to get to work in my entire life.

Fast forward 9 hours and now my house is hot AND smells like fire. Why you might ask?

Some genius (not naming any name .. cough... cough.. JOHN) had the brilliant idea to lean my hairdryer against the AC unit while running to blow on to the ice continuously. Needless to say my hair dryer is now broken.

I would also like to use this post as a public service announcement:

DO NOT INHALE (though your mouth) TOOTHPASTE.

Last night while brushing my teeth AND having a conversation with John I made the mistake of trying to catch the dripping-from-my-mouth toothpaste by sucking it in. NEVER EVER DO THAT. It went straight to the back of my throat and choked me.

FYI: Choking on toothpaste can only be compared to taking a shot of 151 and then chasing it with gasoline. It was absolutely horrible. I contemplated calling 911 and asking them to remove my throat but decided to forgo the call to the hospital (for obvious reasons) and instead sucked on ice (since I couldn't swallow) like a woman in labor. 

 

I may never brush my teeth again.

It was that bad.

Dear Mexico,

You wanna know the really sad part about this post?
I can't post an outfit picture.
Why you might ask? 
Because I am literally wearing the exact same thing I was wearing in the last post.
Pathetic. I know.


Even though today is Tuesday I skipped out on work yesterday due to a sore throat, so today is technically my Monday, with the best part being that there are only 3 more days until the weekend!
4 day work weeks match my attention span .. just enough without being too much. perfect.


ANYWAY Mothers day weekend went off without a hitch. Mom time, sister time, drinking time, friend time, dog park time, pool time, drinking time, boyfriend time, highlight time, more drinking time, maxi dresses, bathing suits, and fedoras. 


I would like to end this post with an apology letter to Mexico.


Dear Mexico,
Since I didn't have the opportunity to properly pay tribute to your Independence Day aka: My 2nd favorite holiday, I made up for its 10-fold this weekend by eating mexican for every meal and chugging Corona (light) like my green-card depended on it. I will have you know I endured a mexican migraine hangover (the worst kind) for hours on end to show my devotion and celebration for your independence.  
You can re-pay me in churros and Taco Bell .. Or just keep being independent so I can celebrate next year.


Adios,
Maggie


*I PROMISE outfit pictures tomorrow!
Until then, please allow me to feed my dog-picture-taking addiction. Enjoy.

 Dirty dogs ride trunk-style home from the dog park. 

Such a rebel.

cinco de lame-o

Dress / Shoes: Target

Sweater: Ann Taylor LOFT

It's 11:30pm and I'm sober... making today the first Cinco De Mayo (in a long time) that I can remember (fondly). 


No tequila shots.
No Corona.
No Margaritas.
No Sombreros.


If this is what grown up life is all about. I want out.

the App. diet

Dress: Target

Shrug: Ann Taylor LOFT

Belt: Banana Republic

Shoes: Payless

What's more annoying than being sick?

Having a sick boyfriend.

What's more annoying that having a sick boyfriend?

Having a sick dog.

Rem Rod is sick. The gross kind of sick: puking, coughing and sneezing sick. 

So what's the real annoying part of having a sick dog? 

Sick dogs don't have insurance to go to the vet. Correction: Remy does not have insurance to go to the vet.

In other news, thanks to BFF's recent visit, John and I are now on a diet. What diet you might ask? "The App Diet" - yes people, you read that correctly. Not only are our phones being used as "Words with Friends Devices" they are now also keeping track of our caloric intake and ruling/ruining my life. 

I found out today was that if I exercise I am able to have more daily calories.

Basically, I walk my dog for wine. 

I walk him twice for 2 glasses.

Thank you iphone.


PS: The blog Freckles in April has made be obsessed with this DIY tunic. I wanna make it... AFTER I locate my creative genes and buy a pair of scissors. all in due time.


For those that have scissors click here are the DIY directions :)

Pictures from Freckles in April

the non-interview

Dress: Ann Taylor LOFT

Scarf: Target

Shoes: Payless

Apparently when you show up to work looking like you give a damn people think you are going on/went on a job interview. Then when you kinda dilly-dally on your lunch break and take too long to eat your Panera chopped salad the office rumor mill goes into overdrive and by the time you get back you've been made CEO of the janitorial department and their planning your going away party. 


Can't a girl just look nice?


Actually, what does that say about the way I dress every other day??

23 year old temper tantrum

Shirt: Ann Taylor LOFT

Skirt: GAP

Shoes: Cole Haan

Belt: Target

I walked out of the bedroom this morning and was met with "I like that (outfit)" from John. SOLD. The chances of getting a (positive) outfit comment from John are about as slim as squeezing water from a rock. It may not have been my first choice, but with a comment like that from the normally mute peanut gallery, it had to be worn. 

So this may or may not be a brief post. 

I don't want to set any expectations. 

Today I was informed I have to move offices. strike that. 

Today I was informed that I have to move from my cube to a shared office space, the size of 2 cubes, that I will share with 4 other people. Recap: I will be sharing one office, the size of 2 cubes, with 5 people. wtf. Today I also realized that the desk I am listed to move to (in my party of 5 office) actually does not exist. Apparently I am the first person to figure this out? I'll keep you posted. 

With that said, I spent a majority of my day cleaning out my office, purging papers, and catching up on the stuff my brain couldn't handle on Friday after being overwhelmed by the Royal Wedding festivities.

I checked out Target's new Calypso line this weekend and I have to admit I'm not super impressed. I thought for sure the line would have tons of beachy, flowy, loose dresses. not so much. The dresses all kinda looked the same (all 2 of them) and seemed to be better suited for the office, not the beach. I did leave with a pair of shoes from the Calypso line that will be perfect to wear with beach dresses for my upcoming Key West vacation :)

My new Calypso shoes from Target:

 

I apologize for the Monday dullness ... I think I'm having a bit of a 23 year old temper tantrum over the office situation.

Here is a pic from the weekend. Oh yea, I forgot to mention I bought a Rolls Royce. 

I kid.. I kid ;)