Wednesday, May 11, 2011

choking on toothpaste




Shirt (originally a dress): Banana Republic
Pants: Gap
Shoes: Target

Today's outfit is a perfect example of complete laziness.
surprise. surprise.

I woke up hot. Why you might ask? 
Because our AC decided to freeze over making the temperature of my midget mansion a balmy 86 degrees this morning. Pair unexpected morning sweat with my he-man sweat ball of a boyfriend and a cold shower and the result is pictured above. a (literal) HOT mess. I don't think I have ever been more excited to get to work in my entire life.

Fast forward 9 hours and now my house is hot AND smells like fire. Why you might ask?
Some genius (not naming any name .. cough... cough.. JOHN) had the brilliant idea to lean my hairdryer against the AC unit while running to blow on to the ice continuously. Needless to say my hair dryer is now broken.

I would also like to use this post as a public service announcement:
DO NOT INHALE (though your mouth) TOOTHPASTE.

Last night while brushing my teeth AND having a conversation with John I made the mistake of trying to catch the dripping-from-my-mouth toothpaste by sucking it in. NEVER EVER DO THAT. It went straight to the back of my throat and choked me.

FYI: Choking on toothpaste can only be compared to taking a shot of 151 and then chasing it with gasoline. It was absolutely horrible. I contemplated calling 911 and asking them to remove my throat but decided to forgo the call to the hospital (for obvious reasons) and instead sucked on ice (since I couldn't swallow) like a woman in labor. 
 
I may never brush my teeth again.
It was that bad.

5 comments:

  1. I just did the same thing today! It was so horrible! Except I didn't try to suck it back I more tried to throw my head back which usually works. I ended up coughing and some blood and food came up too, it was a great time. :( And now my throat feels scratchy like I coughed up some of the lining of my throat and its just grittiness left behind. :( Never again. I hate toothpaste.

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  2. I accidentally inhaled some toothpaste the other day. I immediately could not catch a good breath. I coughed hard as I struggled to breathe. The panic feeling was horrible. I soon began vomiting. Once I could breathe better, the panic feeling subsided but my throat burned for a while longer and I continued to cough. I hope that NEVER happens again!

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  3. Omg, this happened to me today! What a horrific thing to go through! I coughed and gagged! Thought, "what a crappy way to die!" My throat has been burning for hours!

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  4. OMG How is this even a thing? I literally could not catch my breath, and then I started clearing my throat and coughing up blood. It's good to know I'm not dying.

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  5. After having choking problems with toothpaste, I spent a good while searching for a remedy. I finally succeeded. The problem (or mine at least) was caused by toothpaste becoming tangled up with saliva and general mouth mess; which would fall back behind the tonsils while brushing.

    We all brush our teeth, and perhaps our tongue; but very few people brush the rooves of their mouths.

    Saliva can collect in the cavity in the top of our mouths; thickened by bits of what you eat and any other general gunk. While you brush, this gets tied up with your toothpaste and falls in and around your tonsils. That is when choking begins. When the toothpaste falls behind your tonsils; as you breath, it bubbles and falls into your airway. That is when the burning starts, because nothing should be falling into your airway.

    Solution:
    Brush the roof of your mouth, from back by the tonsils toward the front, before you start to brush.
    You don't need to use toothpaste for the roof of your mouth, but you can do so if you wish. Just fresh water and your regular brush is fine.
    I brush a 1-4 times down each side of the roof of my mouth.
    As you do so, the extra saliva collected in the roof is washed away. The toothpaste won't bubble up behind and around your tonsils, and the problem is gone.

    Another thing I've discovered, is that if I feel the problem starting; a firm blow of the nose can further clear the airway, to reduce any choking sensations. It sounds illogical to blow out while choking, but it clears the airway without drawing more bubbles and toothpaste towards your lungs.

    Then you can rest easy and then brush our teeth as normal; toothbrush and favourite toothpaste at the ready. Please let me know what you think.

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